the tiny atelier

Bananas. Containing three natural sugars - sucrose, fructose and
glucose combined with fiber, a banana gives an instant, sustained
and substantial boost of energy.

Research has proven that just two bananas provide enough energy for
a strenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the number
one fruit with the world's leading athletes.

But energy isn't the only way a banana can help us keep fit. It can
also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and
conditions, making it a must to add to our daily diet.

Depression:
According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst people
suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a
banana.
This is because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that
the body converts into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve
your mood and generally make you feel happier.

PMS:
Forget the pills - eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains
regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.

Anemia:
High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of haemoglobin in
the blood and so helps in cases of anemia.

Blood Pressure:
This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in
salt, making it the perfect to beat blood pressure.

So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the
banana industry to make official claims for the fruit's ability to
reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke.

Brain Power:
200 students at aTwickenham (Middlesex) school were helped through
their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast, break, and
lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that
the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more
alert.

Constipation:
High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal
bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to
laxatives.

Hangovers:
One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana
milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach and,
with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels,
while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.

Heartburn:
Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer
from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief.

Morning Sickness:
Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood
sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.

Mosquito bites:
Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected
area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find it amazingly
successful at reducing swelling and irritation.

Nerves:
Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system.

Overweight and at work?
Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at
work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and crisps.
Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese
were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded
that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our
blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods every two
hours to keep levels steady.

Ulcers:
The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders
because of its soft texture and smoothness. It is the only raw fruit
that can be eaten without distress in over-chronicler cases. It also
neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the
lining of the stomach.

Temperature control:
Many other cultures see bananas as a "cooling" fruit that can lower
both the physical and emotional temperature of expectant mothers. In
Thailand, for example, pregnant women eat bananas to ensure their
baby is born with a cool temperature.

Seasonal Affective Disorde(SAD):
Bananas can help SAD sufferers because they contain the
natural mood enhancer tryptophan.

Smoking:
Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking.
The B6, B12 they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium
found in them, help the body recover from the effects of nicotine
withdrawal.

Stress:
Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat,
sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body's water balance.
When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, thereby reducing our
potassium levels. These can be rebalanced with the help of a high-
potassium banana snack.

Strokes:
According to research in "The New England Journal of Medicine,
"eating bananas as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of death
by strokes by as much as 40%!

Warts:
Those keen on natural alternatives swear that if you want to kill off
a wart, take a piece of banana skin and place it on the wart, with
the yellow side out. Carefully hold the skin in place with a plaster or

surgical tape!

So, a banana really is a natural remedy for many ills. When you
compare it to an apple, it has four times the protein, twice the
carbohydrate, three times the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A
and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals.
It is also rich in potassium and is one of the best value foods
around.

So maybe its time to change that well-known phrase so that we say,
"A banana a day keeps the doctor away!"


"Bananas must be the reason monkeys are so happy all the time!"

Source: e-mail

# posted by [12:31] 

Actual interactions with Tech Support and PC users.

Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong?
Tech support: OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right?
Customer: Yeah....
Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using?
Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen.....
Tech support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!
===============
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...
===============
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....
===============
Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
===============
Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates, damn it!
===============
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
===============
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
===============
Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.
===============
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work
===============
Tech support: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
===============
Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
===============
Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
===============
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
===============
Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?
===============
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."
===============
And last but not least:....
Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!

Source: Dari milis sebelah
-k-

# posted by [17:39] 

1. Don't imagine you can change a man unless he's in diapers.
2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks-out? You shut the door.
3. If they put a man on the moon -- they should be able to put them all up there.
4. Never let your man's mind wander -- it's too little to be out alone.
5. Go for younger men. You might as well, they never mature anyway.
6. Men are all the same -- they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.
7. Definition of a bachelor; a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
8. Women don't make fools of men -- most of them are the do-it- yourself types.
9. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they are too old for it.
10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
12. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.
13. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes; it means that you laugh at his.

14.



Sadly, all men are created equal.


No offense
-k-


# posted by [17:34] 

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = Marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Source: Milis tetangga
-k-

# posted by [17:31] 

Berikut ini adalah contoh-contoh Style Message untuk ajak kenalan orang yang kamu sukai di Friendster.

Style Nyelekit 1
Hmhmhm..tampangnya ok juga..tidak begitu cantik dan tidak begitu jelek pantas untuk jadi teman saya...ini email saya kirim@ketawa.com

Style Nyelekit 2
Walah, foto hancur begitu... kok PD sekali pasang di friendster? Apa nggak ada foto lain ? Kalau kamu mau saya add jadi temanku, tolong fotonya diganti dulu!

Style Nyelekit 3
Walah, kamu cantik tapi juga gendut sekali ya ? Tolong jangan add aku ya!

Style Nyelekit 4.
Kamu cantik tapi masih single, pasti kamu lesbi ya. kalau nggak lesbi pasti bohong. Kalau kamu marah atau tersinggung, jangan lewat email, kita ketemuan aja. Kalau nggak berani ketemuan, memang benar pasti kamu lesbi

Style PD 1
Kamu cantik tapi sayang sudah bercowok. Sayang sekali cowok kamu jelek, item, miskin, tolol. Sebaiknya saran saya, jangan pernah jadian dulu kalau belum ketemu saya. Ini saya kasih kesempatan, nomor hp saya : 081-xxxx-x-xxxx.

Style PD 2
Aduh cantiknya , kenalan dong. kebetulan nih tampangku keren, pasti banyak yang kira kita pacaran, kalau aku lagi jalan sama kamu. Aku add kamu ya...

Style Standard
Hai, boleh kenalan nggak ? Add aku ya di kirim@ketawa.com

Style Iseng
Boleh minta no HP dong, alamat rumah, telp rumah, alamat kantor, telp kantor bales ya!

Style Iseng 2
Tampang kamu mirip pacar saya! Jangan-jangan kamu kembarannya ya ?

Style Iseng 3
Kamu mirip teman saya deh, atau jangan2 kamu memang pernah jadi teman saya, atau mungkin kita pernah ketemu kali ya di suatu tempat? Kamu merasa kenal aku nggak sebelumnya ?

Style Hopeless
Please dong... jadi temanku... aku tahu kamu cantik... aku jelek... tapi mau kan jadi temanku... Siapa tahu kita bisa jadian. Temanku di friendster baru 2 orang lho. Sudah 6 bulan minta add ke banyak cewek, tapi ditolak terus. Mudah-mudahan kamu mau, soalnya kamu kan baik, aku percaya kok kamu pada dasarnya baik, hati kamu pasti seputih kulit kamu.

Style Hopeless 2
Hai sayang, aku sudah bosan hidup nih, tolong dong, jangan buat aku bunuh diri. Aku lagi pegang pisau nih, siap-siap mau bunuh diri. Kalau kamu nggak mau add jadi temanku, kamu besok baca koran POS KOTA dan lampu merah ya. Pasti nama kamu disebut2 disitu. Aku kasih waktu 1 x 24 jam atau kamu besok baca headline ini. SEORANG PEMUDA MATI BUNUH DIRI KARENA DITOLAK AJAK KENALAN OLEH SEORANG BERNAMA XXXXX (nama kamu tuh !)

Style Tajir , Mupeng dan PD sekali
Kamu cantik dan sexy sekali, malam minggu besok jalan sama aku ya ini nomor hpku: 081-xxxxx-xxxxx, aku biasa bawa mobil mercedes benz serie 7, tapi kalau lagi males aku bawa jaguar aja, kalau kamu ingin yang biasa-biasa aja, aku juga baru beli Vios kok. O'ya Apartementku di sudirman lagi kosong lho, nanti kita bermalam minggu disana semalaman nggak apa-apa kan? Mudah-mudahan cowok kamu nggak keberatan. Kalau cowok kamu keberatan, aku punya pembantu wanita yang masih single, nanti suruh cowok kamu bermalam di kamar pembantuku aja ya.

Style Malu-Malu Mau
Hai... boleh kenalan nggak ?

Style Agresif Ngesellin
Hai, kenapa sih nggak mau kenalan sama aku. aku sudah kirim message 45 kali kok, dicuekin terus sih? Memang kamu siapa? Memang saya siapa? Gue tahu elo cantik dan sexy, tapi bukan berarti bla blab lab labla blabla blablablabla

Style Sok Akrab 1
Hai kamu temannya si anu ya, aku tahu kamu dari si anu. Bagaimana kabar kamu? Bapak-ibu gimana? Adik-kakak gimana? Sehat-sehat saja kan? Udah lulus atau udah kerja? Aku boleh add kamu ya?

Style Sok Akrab 2 + Nyelekit
Ya ampun, kamu masih inget saya? Aku kan dulu teman SD/SMP/SMA kamu, kamu kan dulu pernah nembak saya. Maaf dulu kamu saya tolak, soalnya kamu tuh dulu jelek banget, sekarang kok jadi cantik begini
? Operasi plastik di mana ya? Jangan lupa add aku ya, kalau kamu masih penasaran sama aku, nggak apa-apa kok kalau mau nembak aku lagi. Pasti aku terima dengan senang hati

Style Sok Akrab 3 + Ngegombal
Hai, denger-denger kamu habis putus ya dari si 'anu'. Kamu pasti sedih sekali ya, bagaimana kalau saya datang ke rumah kamu untuk menghibur hati kamu yang luka? Aku tidak habis pikir bagaimana mungkin ada orang secantik kamu ini ada yang tega melukai hati kamu yang bening seindah kristal ini, pasti sangat menyakitkan buat orang secantik kamu. ini nomor hpku: 081-xxxx-xxxx

Style Gila 1
Kalau kamu sedang kesepian, mungkin saya adalah orang yang tepat untuk dijadikan pacar, kalau kamu sedang punya pacar, mungkin pacar kamu tidak ada apa-apanya dibandingkan saya, kalau kamu sedang merencanakan perkawinan, batalkan saja, nikahlah denganku saja, kalau kamu sudah kawin, tolong ceraikan suami kamu, kamu ditanggung tidak akan menyesal mendapatkan aku

Style Gila 2
Hai, kamu tolong lihat foto2 saya di friendster ya. Kalau kamu ingin lihat saya dalam keadaan polos/bugil, aku akan kirimkan fotonya dengan syarat kamu kasih saya nomor hp kamu...

Style Ngegombal 1
Aku tidak percaya dari 5 milyard penduduk dunia, ternyata ada satu makhluk termanis yang tidak pernah saya lihat sebelumnya. Makhluk itu adalah kamu. Kamu memang diciptakan khusus untukku. Terima kasih Tuhan telah mempertemukan belahan jiwaku lewat friendster.com. Sayang, will you marry me ?

Style Ngegombal 2
Oh My God, Finally I have found someone, and it was you !, give me your phone number soon, and i will pick you up as soon as possible. and we will looking for 'pendeta/penghulu' right now to bless our marriage. Do you agree with that?

Style Kurang Ajar 1
Hai. One Night Stand yuk! Nanti kamu boleh add aku deh jadi temanku

Style Kurang Ajar 2
Hai. Tarif kamu semalam berapa ?

Style Kurang Ajar 3 + Sok Akrab
Hai, kayanya kita pernah kenal deh, kamu kan selingkuhannya si 'X' teman saya yang istrinya 2.

Style Tolol
Hai, aku baru join di friendster, bisa tolong ajarin aku nggak caranya makai friendster? Tolong datang ya ke rumahku atau kantorku. Ini alamatnya blablablblblablablablabla

Style Tolol 2
Hai, boleh tanya nggak ya. Sekarang jam berapa ya? Maaf jam saya mati.

Style Tolol 3
Hai, boleh tanya nggak ya. kalau dari Blok M mau ke Bandung, naik bus nomor berapa ya?

Style Tolol 4
Hai, boleh tahu password kamu nggak? Aku lupa password aku, mungkin saja passwordku sama dengan password kamu.

Sumber: Berdasarkan pengalaman agar bisa nginap gratis di kamar 'teman' baru

# posted by [15:05] 

1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory
2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.
3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.
4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there, than up there wishing you were down here.
5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.
6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.
7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.
8. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the plane again.
9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.
10. You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the hanger.
11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice versa.
12. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.
13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction.
14. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.
15. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take-offs you've made.
16. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what these are.
17. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.
18. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.
19. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger compartment, things are not at all as they should be.
20. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminium going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose.
21. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment.
22. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible.
23. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.
24. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's not subject to repeal.

    sumber: dari milis sebelah juga deh

# posted by [14:27] 

Dari: Managing Director
Kepada: Chief Operating Officer
"Besok akan ada gerhana matahari total pada jam sembilan pagi. Ini adalah kejadian yang tak bisa kita lihat setiap hari. Untuk menyambut dan melihat peristiwa langka ini, seluruh karyawan diminta untuk berkumpul di lapangan dengan berpakaian rapi. Saya akan menjelaskan fenomena alam ini kepada mereka. Bila hari hujan, dan kita tidak bisa
melihatnya dengan jelas, kita berkumpul di kantin saja."

Dari: Chief Operating Officer
Kepada: Department Heads
"Sesuai dengan perintah Managing Director, besok pada jam sembilan pagi akan ada gerhana matahari total. Bila hari hujan, kita tidak bisa berkumpul di lapangan untuk melihatnya dengan berpakaian rapi. Dengan demikian, peristiwa hilangnya matahari ini akan dijelaskan oleh Managing Director di kantin. Ini adalah kejadian yang tak bisa kita lihat setiap hari."

Dari : Departmental Heads
Kepada : Sectional Heads
"Sesuai dengan perintah Managing Director, besok kita akan mengikuti peristiwa hilangnya matahari di kantin pada jam sembilan pagi dengan berpakaian rapi. Managing Director akan menjelaskan apakah besok akan hujan atau tidak. Ini adalah kejadian yang tak bisa kita
lihat setiap hari."

Dari : Section Heads
Kepada : Foreman
"Jika besok turun hujan di kantin, kejadian yang tak bisa kita lihat setiap hari, Managing Director, dengan berpakaian rapi, akan menghilang jam sembilan pagi."

Dari : Foreman
Kepada : All Operators
"Besok pagi, pada jam sembilan, Managing Director akan menghilang. Sayang sekali, kita tidak bisa melihatnya setiap hari."

Komunikasi... oh... komunikasi... kalau diterima dengan guyon.

Source: Dari milis sebelah, lagi

# posted by [13:25] 

Beberapa tahun lalu, ketika aku berusia dua puluh tiga. Aku menikahi seorang janda yang parasnya menggoda.

Janda ini memiliki anak perempuan berambut merah. Ayahku jatuh cinta dengannya, maka merekapun menikah.

Hal ini menjadikan ayahku menantuku dan mengubah hidupku. Anakku menjadi ibuku, sebab dia adalah istri ayahku.

Menambah keruwetan hidupku, meskipun membuatku senang, Aku segera menjadi ayah dari seorang bayi yang tenang

Bayiku kemudian menjadi saudara tiri ayah, jadi dia adalah pamanku, meskipun kelihatannya payah.

Karena dia adalah pamanku, maka dia juga saudara laki-laki, dari anak perempuan janda, yang mana bagiku dia ibu tiri.

Istri ayahku kemudian mempunyai anak, menjadikan bertambah lucu, Yang kemudian jadi cucuku, karena dia anak dari anak tiriku.

Istriku sekarang adalah ibu dari ibu tiriku, sebab meskipun dia adalah istriku, dia juga adalah nenekku.

Jika istriku adalah nenekku, maka aku adalah cucunya. Dan setiap memikirkannya, aku jadi tambah gila.

Karena sekarang aku menjadi kasus teraneh yang pernah terjadi, sebab sebagai suami nenekku, aku juga menjadi kakekku sendiri.

Source: Milis sebelah emang lagi nge-trend

# posted by [19:22] 

1. Anjing peliharaan melong-long (berteriak panjang bukan menggong-gong) tengah malam, bermakna bahwa ada keluarga kita yang telah meninggal dunia sedang mengunjungi anda

Bisa juga anjing tersebut kejepit pintu pagar, meja atau kursi

2. Anjing peliharaan melong-long lewat tengah malam, bermakna bahwa ada setan gentayangan yang sedang berkeliaran disekitar rumah kita

Berarti ada orang lewat/ maling. So be carefull, siap-siap...

Kalo anjing melonglong panjang diluar rumah terus terbatuk-batuk berarti anjing itu kemasukan nyamuk ketika melonglong.

Kalau anjing menggonggong lalu menangis itu tandanya anjing lagi sakit gigi.....

3. Anjing peliharaan bersuara perlahan sambil kepala menunduk dan bulu-bulunya berdiri dimalam hari, bermakna bahwa di dalam rumah kita sedang berkeliaran arwah orang tua pemilik rumah atau arwah majikan anjing tersebut.

Bisa juga anjing tersebut lagi dimarahin sama majikannya

4. Bayi dihinggapi kupu-kupu pada malam Jumat Kliwon, bermakna bahwa arwah kakek sang bayi sedang mengunjungi

Makanya kalo malam-malam jangan masukin kupu-kupu beneran mending masukin kupu-kupu malam (biar anget).

Kalo bayi dihinggapi gajah di jidatnya itu tandanya gajah yg iseng banget bisa2nya hinggap di jidat bayi, emang kurang kandang segitu gedenya..

5. Disarankan kepada anda bila sedang melewati pesimpangan empat pada jam 12 malam untuk berdehem "Ehem!" sebanyak 3x, bermakna anda meminta izin lewat kepada mahluk halus penunggu jalan tersebut.

Lebih baik ucapkan "permisi bang" karena kalo nggak bisa di keroyok ama preman prapatan pimpinan bang udin petot

6. Disarankan kepada anda mengadakan syukuran sebelum mengisi rumah baru , bermakna anda meminta izin kepada mahluk halus penunggu rumah.

Mending niatnya ngundang tetangga buat perkenalan

7. Disarankan kepada anda untuk tidak membuat rumah kecil jauh terpisah di belakang rumah utama, bermakna agar rumah itu tidak di tempati roh jahat (terkecuali ditempati tetap)

Lagian siapa sih arsiteknya mending juga lahannya buat miara ayam atau nanam cabe, bawang dkk

8. Disarankan kepada anda untuk meletakkan seikat sapu lidi dan gunting dibawah bantal bayi, bemakna agar bayi tersebut terlindungi dari gangguan mahluk halus

Kalo pake sapu ijuk bisa gatel kali yee.. lagian kalo naro golok dibawah bantalnya khan kesian banget tuh bayi

9. Disarankan bagi wanita yang sedang hamil untuk meletakkan gunting dibawah bantal ketika hendak tidur, bemakna agar wanita hamil dan bayi yang ada dalam kandungannya terhidar dari pengaruh mistik dan guna-guna serta gangguan mahluk halus seperti kuntianak.

Kalo gunting rumput sangat tidak disarankan, kalo bisa guntingnya yang kecil, khan lumayan bisa buat gunting bulu hidung dan bulu-bulu yang lainnya

10. Disarankan bagi wanita yang sedang hamil untuk selalu menggantungkan pisau lipat kecil pada baju yang dikenakan, bermakna agar yang mengandung dan calon bayinya akan terhindar dari gangguan mahluk halus

Kebayang nggak sih kalo nggak punya pisau kecil, trus yang digantungnya pisau belati atau pisau dapur malahan pisau daging, wah bisa dibilang preman bunting nih

11. Disarankan untuk anda jangan pernah menyimpan tanah dari kuburan ditempat manapun karena akan mengakibatkan tempat itu menjadi tempat arwah yang tanah kuburannya diambil

Mending nyimpan duit atau istri simpenan khan lebih ada manfaatnya

12. Disarankan kepada anda untuk menyimpan bawang merah, cabe merah, dan kunyit diatas pintu rumah karena akan berfungsi untuk melindungi rumah dan keluarga anda dari gangguan mahluk halus dan ilmu-ilmu hitam yang dilakukan oleh orang jahat

Kenapa juga bukan beras sekarung atau bumbu dapur yang udah jadi yang biasa dijual mbok-mbok dipasar, khan lebih hemat

13. Disarankan menempatkan/menaruh bawang merah, cabe merah atau kacang hijau dibawah/disekitar tempat anda menyimpan uang karena mempunyai makna sebagai penangkal dari pencurian uang yang dilakukan oleh tuyul

Hari gini masih nyimpen duit dibawah bantal ? udah bukan jamannya, Kenapa juga tiap ATM nggak ada barang-barang tersebut

14. Disarankan menempatkan/menaruh celana bekas kakek dibawah bantal bayi karena mempunyai makna untuk melindungi bayi dari gangguan mistik makhluk halus

Aduh kasian banget tuh bayi bisa mabok dah

15. Disarankan untuk menggunakan darah anjing yang berbulu hitam karena mempunyai kegunaan untuk menyembuhkan orang yang kesurupan mahluk halus

Jangankan darah anjing, air liunya aja najis dan bikin jijik

16. Larangan mencabut alis mata pada malam Jumat Kliwon karena akan meyebabkan datangnya mahluk halus yang bertubuh kecil biasa disebut tuyul

Kagak ada kerjaan kali yaa, daripada nyabut alis mata mending dugem atau tidur aja

Kalau naik bis trus berasa dipepet oleh 2 atau 3 orang, itu maknanya anda jadi sasaran pencopet.....

Hendaknya jgn suka berdiri terlalu lama di depan pintu,...... karena anda menghalangi orang yg mau lewat...

Jgn menjahit tengah malam...... ngantuk tau, ntar salah jahit lagi...

Disarankan kalau habis dari tengah sawah pada kamis siang, jgn langsung masuk rumah......... cuci kaki dulu dong ah...

Kalau terdengar suara "tut...tut...tut" dari arah pinggang anda........ itu ada sms masuk...

Source: masih dari milis sebelah

# posted by [19:07] 

Bahasa Indo lebih nyaman,
ngga mlintir lidah.....

" ... Tiga nenek sihir mengagumi tiga buah arloji merk Swatch.
Nenek sihir mana melihat pada arloji Swatch yang mana ?..."

dalam bahasa Inggris :

Three witches watch three Swatch watches.
Which witch watch which Swatch watch?

yang lain ya...

"......Tiga nenek sihir biseksual mengagumi kenop kenop dari tiga arloji Swatch.
Nenek sihir biseksual mana yang memandangi kenop arloji Swatch yang mana ...?

Dalam bahasa Inggris
(susah neh, ati ati lidah keputer ...)

Three switched witches watch three Swatch watch switches.
Which switched witch watch which Swatch watch switch?

Source: Ini asli dari milis tetangga alias milis sebelah
Iwan M Rubiawan


# posted by [11:09]